So, if we as Christians are determined to follow Jesus, turning away from self-focus and embracing instead His example of humble, self-sacrificial service, exactly how are we to do that in the real world, in everyday life? Well, the short answer is, it depends. How we should humble ourselves before others depends on our relationship to them. But make no mistake – true humility, considering the needs of others as more important than our own desires, is hard for everyone.

Sometimes it’s hard for wives to look to their husbands as their leaders, respecting them as the head of the family (5:22, 33), especially when they do things that appear to be foolish or frivolous. But it’s also hard for husbands to love their wives just as much as they love themselves (5:28), laying aside their own wants and needs in order to devote themselves completely to their wives’ progress in holiness (5:27).

It’s hard for children to obey their parents (6:1), especially when mom and dad do things that don’t make sense, or when they administer discipline in a painful way. But it’s just as hard for parents to administer that discipline consistently and lovingly (6:4), avoiding both the temptation to lash out in anger at rebelliousness or to lapse into permissiveness in the face of stubborn willfulness.

And of course it’s hard for slaves or for employees to work hard for their masters or bosses. Instead of falling into resentment at what they perceive to be injustice or unfairness, it’s hard to work hard for the benefit of someone else with a sincere heart (6:6). But it’s just as important for employers to avoid bullying tactics, instead taking the same sort of responsibility for them that God does for us (6:9).

But why should we think such a life of humility would be easy? After all, when Jesus humbled Himself before His Father, and when Jesus humbled Himself before us, it cost Him His very life – He gave Himself up for us because He loves us (5:25). So, if we would love those in our families and our workplaces, why shouldn’t we expect to pay a similar price?

Ephesians 5:22-6:9 (ESV)

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
30 because we are members of his body.
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
5 Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,
6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,
7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man,
8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.
9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.