How are we called to express our love for one another in a sexual way? Of course the Romantics insisted that we should act on whatever impulses we might experience, and over the last 100 years, more and more Americans have followed their lead. But as family structures have collapsed, leading in turn to all sorts of tremendous social problems, maybe it’s time to seek some different advice.

When Jesus was asked about the permanence of marital bonds, He went all the way back to Genesis to find the answer, to the time before sin had entered into the world. He thus made it clear that human beings, both male and female, were created in the image of God. Jesus therefore rejects the notion that women are simply objects intended to satisfy men’s wants and needs. There is thus no room in the Christian faith for anything that degrades women or shames them. At the same time, He affirms that human begins were designed to relate to one another sexually. That means there is also no room in the Christian faith for the idea that sexual desire is in and of itself sinful, either for men or women.

But Jesus’ answer to the Pharisees also makes it clear that God designed human beings to express their sexual desires only within the context of a lifelong marriage of one man and one woman. Therefore, regardless of how many ways human beings fail to hit this target, we cannot deny that this was God’s plan for us.

So, how do Christians deal with the sexual brokenness that is so rampant in our society? In the first place, we should not be surprised that sin twists our sexual attractions in all sorts of ways, making us want things that are not good for us or for others. But while we admit that such attractions are indeed part of this sinful world, that doesn’t mean we should give into all of them, as the Romantics urge us to do. Instead, we are called to channel our sexual desires according to God’s will, regardless of what we may want or feel. And while we are patient and loving with others whose attractions are not healthy or holy, we must continue to uphold God’s plan as best for all of us.

Mark 10:2-9 (ESV)

2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?”
4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.”
5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.
6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’
7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,
8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.
9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”