So how do we live in a way that doesn’t give in to sinful desires? What is the opposite of fleshly, self-centered living? I suppose many people imagine this mainly involves staying away from certain behaviors. Especially in these days when everyone seems to be offended by one thing or another, it would seem that the only way to avoid hurting anyone or their feelings is to keep pretty much to oneself.

And at first glance, this passage seems to support such an idea. If you want to live a holy life, don’t commit adultery, don’t murder, don’t steal, and don’t covet. So much is true, but if we stop there, we are really missing the whole point. For after all, Paul says in verse 8 that true holiness also means paying a debt we owe everyone – a debt of love.

And it is only love that allows us to have a complete picture of holy living. Paul makes the connection for us in verse 10: if we love someone of course we won’t want to take his wife or his life or his stuff. If we love someone, of course we won’t want what she has – instead, we’ll want her to have it and enjoy it. At the end of the day, the opposite of fleshly selfishness is not some sort of pinched, cramped, ascetic stoicism – the opposite of sin is true love for our neighbors.

And that means the best way to live a holy life is not to obsess about all the things we shouldn’t do, but to focus our time, talent and treasure on blessing other people, seeking only to meet their needs, and frankly not thinking much at all about what we ourselves want. For that sort of life not only naturally keeps all the requirements of the Law of Moses. It’s only that sort of life that truly follows Jesus.

Romans 13:8-10 (NAS)

8 Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.
9 For this, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; love therefore is the fulfillment of the law.